Years ago I loved sex, but now I hate for my husband to touch me or even mention it. I feel like sex is a chore, but my husband wants sex every other night. How can we resolve this?

Comments

• you pretty much hit it on the head. I think he feels the same to. Because i want nothing to do with him.

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  by Ree772 on January 17th, 2006

• Are you a professional psychologist Anonymous? You sure sound like one. Good answer.

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  by bowlinggreen on January 9th, 2007

• or maybe, like millions of other women, she just got tired of being used for sex by a man who has no other role in the relationship. When you ignore and neglect your marriage, and then demand or expect sex, you are communicating to your wife "you are here for my pleasure and no other reason" This is why she descibes it as a chore. I agree completely with the last two paragraphs. Emotional rape is a factor in many marriages.

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  by ladyshakespeare on September 19th, 2009

• Amazing! For years I've been struggling with not wanting to have sex with my husband. In October 2006, he offered to give my daughter a massage after she finished exercising. He insisted it would help her feel better. Wary about his intentions and wanting to confirm her suspicion about what type of man I married, she complied. When he got on her back, she asked him to get off. He replied that it was no big deal and that she should just relax. He then began moan and she felt an erection. She then jumped up and ran to her room.
  
  I married my husband in 2004, after dating him for four years. At the time of our wedding, we had a five month old son. We were very happy. It was wonderful to see how his son, now 20, and my daughter, now 27, got along. I believed we would make a very nice family. Our sex life couldn't be better.
  
  However, after my daughter told me about the incident I was crushed. My husband insisted that I was making a big deal out of nothing because he never had any sexual intentions. From that moment on, everything changed. I have lost complete interest in having sex with him. I have received conflicting advice but in essence, it has been that a marriage should be worth saving, especially when there is a child involved...and, of course, a mortgage.
  
  In 2009 I had a brief affair with an old boyfriend. I felt very happy and complete. My husband found out about him and threatened him. Needless to say, the relationship has been over since.
  
  It is now January 2011 and I still am very much turned off by any type of sexual attention my husband gives me. I have told him that I want a divorce but he refuses. He says that he loves me and he will not leave his home. (Although, I'm the one who put the down payment.) I give in to his sexual demands, in order to keep peace in the home. But each time I have sex with him I feel that I betraying myself. I hate him and I hate myself for allowing myself to be used in that way.
  
  I didn't know that there is a term for what I have been going through. That is, splitting. I agree, it is a psychological rape. It needs to stop.
  
  Thank you sooo much for validating my feelings.
  
  May I add, my husband is a police officer and I a social worker.

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  by Mari2611 on January 21st, 2011