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by raerae on May 25th, 2007

raerae

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I wanna start dating white men, but I dont think they like black women so white boys would you date me?

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  • by Kinkyk on September 19th, 2008

    Kinkyk

    I guess my point is that is a lot more complicated than most people consider when you Start dating outside your race and not just b/c of "old fashioned" racism. I think what you might want to consider how supportive that other person is capable of being and your expectations of that relationship. A big problem in this kind of intimate relationship is that people who don't believe it's a problem (in their mind) can be completely blind and insensitive or when it becomes a problem (in Real life), only compounding your stress. And that like in any dating arena, unscrupulous or ignorant people will want to date you for the wrong reasons. "Curiosity, a.k.a."____ Fever" comes to mind. (Seriously, I just got called 'exotic' a few days ago, meaning "you're attractive AND of a different race (probably unidentifiable to this person) at the same time; I'm not sure what to do with that." And I don't even look Asian- it's usually Asian/Pacific-Island women who get that word in particular. So it's still out there. BTW, this was a perfectly nice, White young man, who just really doesn't know how to process race and how it relates to concepts of beauty. But embedded in the way he chose to "compliment" my looks was the concept of race. For those who aren't following, this is kind of like calling a Black man with 3 degrees in English 'articulate' with a tone of surprise in your voice.
    Maybe what I'm saying is less obvious b/c we don't necessarily go around Saying out loud the sexual stereotypes about Black women the way we still say them about Black or Asian men, so they've gone underground a bit.

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