by wanttolearn on September 4th, 2008

wanttolearn

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My fiance lives with me, started to go to church and now he's moving out because we're "sinning." we've been intimate for 3 years and he dropped this bomb on me (no discussion with me). I feel rejected and hurt. should i give him his ring back?

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  • by wanttolearn on September 4th, 2008

    wanttolearn

    Thanks Wasp. My family and friends say run. They have a "bad" feeling about what he's doing. I feel like he's been stringing me a long for almost 2 years now. i am hurt and i want to punch him in the face (thats the italian in me!) i don't know why he's changing, he's given me 4 different reasons, his work is at the cape, he's spending too much on gas, he's sinning and wants to "court" and he wants to wait until his divorce is final. The fact that he told me sunday and already has an apartment leads me to believe he had already made his mind up without talking to me. Did i mention the way he left his wife? He secretly moved all his things out and left her a letter. Thats it after 35 years, a letter. i'm thinking maybe i should run. i have always been a fun loving, happy, independent person and i'm not feeling it lately. he does want to change my life, get rid of my daughter, grandson & roommate, sell MY house and move to south carolina. I'd be willing to bet he'll be gone after his divorce is final. See? have to have trust and i don't. i've been single for 23 years and i was totally happy. I do love him but I love the him I first met. If its a midlife crisis, good luck to him. Call me when its over and maybe i'll be around. also the italian in me :) thanks for the advice. Right now I can't feel sorry for his issues, I believe he's doing it so his wife doesn't take him to the cleaners, money motive. oh i'm so tired of thinking about this. its filling my brain and draining me.
    thank you again wasp.

    Comments
    • So you are dating a married man?

      Sweet T

      by Sweet T on September 4th, 2008

    • no i'm not sweet t. i'm engaged to a man who's been going thru a bad divorce for a long time. is that a sin in your book?

      wanttolearn

      by wanttolearn on September 4th, 2008

    • p.s. my intimacy is not the same as your intimacy. you can be intimate without having sex, which by the way since i've gone thru menopause, i have no interest in and its not important to him either. as a matter of a fact its NEVER been that important to me. i want to grow old with my best friend, sit on the porch holding hands and still be in love.

      wanttolearn

      by wanttolearn on September 4th, 2008

    • You said, he wants to wait until the divorce is final, that means he is still married. It doesnt matter what I consider a sin.

      Sweet T

      by Sweet T on September 4th, 2008

    • I can understand wanting that. But if you are trying to go to church, you should also try to do the right thing, that your religion requires. Could you not wait until he is divorced? If you plan on spending your lives together, I think a couple months isnt to long to wait.

      Sweet T

      by Sweet T on September 4th, 2008

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You're reading My fiance lives with me, started to go to church and now he's moving out because we're "sinning." we've been intimate for 3 years and he dropped this bomb on me (no discussion with me). I feel rejected and hurt. should i give him his ring back?

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