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by elphen on October 31st, 2005

elphen

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How early is too early in a relationship to say I love you?

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  • by Relsqui on November 1st, 2005

    Relsqui

    No one answer is going to work for every case, but here are my two favorite rules of thumb:

    First, say it when you mean it--never because it just seems like the right thing to say or you think someone wants you to. If you're enjoying being with someone so much that you blurt it out without thinking, well, that was the right time. The problem with this rule is that you might want to say it when you've just started a relationship and still have stars in your eyes; therefore, read on.

    Second, don't say it if you think it will make the person you're saying it to uncomfortable. This is the difficult one. Some reasons not to say it would be: the other person doesn't seem to be interested in you, the two of you aren't currently in a romantic relationship and it would therefore be startling, or even that the object of your affections is recently out of a serious relationship and might not be ready for a new one.

    Another thing to judge by is how the relationship is going otherwise. If you're still in the "have a date now and then" phase, and it hasn't turned serious, you should be pretty confident that you both want it to before telling a person how you feel. Once you're seeing each other quite often, chatting all the time, etc., expressing your love will start to feel like a natural thing to do.

    Good luck!


    TrolleyBounce adds a good point; just saying the words "I love you" has nothing to do with whether they're true. I was being slightly optimistic and assuming the intent of the question was the case where one is actually in love, or thinks one is, and wants to make that known. Obviously, if that's not the case, one can say it whenever one wants. ; )

    Comments

    • elphen

      by elphen on November 1st, 2005

    • well what if your relationship is as you say it is a on and on dating and talking once in w while? Does it mean you and that

      gothrunaway

      by gothrunaway on November 2nd, 2005

    • Isn't it weird that people can say "I hate you" a lot easier than they can say "I love you"? :-I

      scymitar72

      by scymitar72 on November 2nd, 2005

    • People don't have to mean "I love you" just to say it. Correct?

      TrolleyBounce

      by TrolleyBounce on November 9th, 2005

    • only problem with that is you have silly teenagers who say i love you within weeks of dating someone, and they actually mean it. im only 20 and i think the words "i love you" are losing their strong meaning as the younger generations toss it around without deep thought.

      Butadujo

      by Butadujo on April 22nd, 2009

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