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by Santaanacanyon on July 6th, 2003

Santaanacanyon

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When is a child too old to be spanked?

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  • by Mary Siever on February 20th, 2004

    Mary Siever

    The definition of discipline is to teach. Spanking is not teaching, it is hitting and a child learns to hit when hit, so any age is too old, or too young for spanking. Effective forms of discipline are those which require the child to LEARN what the right thing to do is, make amends where needed, and change behaviour. Deprivation of privilege can work, as long as it is related to the wrong committed and as long as it is understood. Punishing a child for going beyond the corner of a street after he has been repeatedly told NOT to go past it, will be ineffective if he doesn't understand what a "corner" is in the first place.

    NO WHERE in the scriptures is physical punishment of children acceptable. The following bears me out:

    Matt. 18: 6
    " But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea."

    In ancient Israel a rod was not used for striking, this is a "modern" invention. The Saviour often referred to His people as "sheep". A shepherd's tool was a staff, or a rod. This was not used to strike the sheep, but to guide them in the right direction. So using Proverbs to justify striking with a rod is not only inappropriate, but incorrect.

    Children do not learn by being hit. An adult can be charged with assault for strinking another adult, and yet spanking a child is ok? The rod in the scriptures refers to teaching children right from wrong. I am NOT against discipline. Children need discipline, they need to learn to do right. I am against enforcing that discipline with physical punishment. My 5 year old daughter and my 3 year old son have been raised with gentle parenting. They are learning right from wrong. They are well behaved and they are taught through love. Jesus Christ was the greatest example of this. He taught in love and compassion. Never once did He strike a child. I would rather follow His example of love. Animals who are hit learn to "obey" through fear. Animals who are taught in love learn to obey through love. Children who are taught to obey through physical violence (and I include spanking in this) learn to obey through fear and anger. Children who are taught to obey through love and gentleness learn love and compassion. What is more desirable?

    In response to Mr Simpson:

    You misunderstand me. I never said no boundaries, I believe in proper boundaries. I use the KJV of the scriptures as well and the scriptures you cite still don't' prove striking is appropriate. In my years of parenting I have never needed to hit my children. If a parent feels the need to physically hit a child it reflects more on them, than on the child. Children DO need discipline and boundaries as I ALREADY said. They don't need to be abused and striking is abuse. I was spanked as a child (not often, but periodically), and it didn't teach me anything but fear and anger. To this day I don't see that it taught me to do right. When my parents taught me correct principles, I learned obedience.

    In response to Heather:

    I will use the BIble to help my opinion (are you saying then that abuse of children through corporal punishment is a good thing?) if others use it to try and bolster their opinion. I was refuting THEIR comments using the same tools they used, if you read the other comments.

    To Questionguy :

    http://bibletools.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Def.show/RTD/ISBE/ID/7460

    There ya go.

    Why is it that people continue to rate me poorly because I don't believe hitting a child is the right thing to do? Studies continually show that when you correct a child through corporal punishment you are more likely to raise an abuser. Our children need discipline and they need LOVE,. And hitting is a sign of anger, not love and correction.

    Thanks Andersen777 :)

    Comments

    • I never thought about the 'rod' as a way to lead or guide rather than punish. Thanks for this insight.

      Hambone

      by Hambone on April 13th, 2004

    • What about the Punish part of Proverbs 23:13. How does a shephard punish a sheep. Tell him he loves him and no TV?

      TRAVIS SIMPSON

      by TRAVIS SIMPSON on April 30th, 2004

    • Very good! These are facts. It should be common sense that you are hurting someone if you hit them.

      Amber_

      by Amber_ on October 17th, 2004

    • No where in the scriptures does it say to celebrate the birth of christ either. Please don't use the bible for your opinion.

      Heather Soderstrom

      by Heather Soderstrom on December 15th, 2004

    • Wow! This is REALLY how you deal with kids! ...too many hit and yell teaching the kids BAD ways to deal with future problems.

      artie_

      by artie_ on December 28th, 2004

    • What is with people? Here's a good rating for you Mary :)

      Andy Is Wicked Married to Penal Colony

      by Andy Is Wicked Married to Penal Colony on February 25th, 2005

    • You probably do use a rod for correction. There are consequences in real life, so should there be in the home!

      dddkitty

      by dddkitty on March 26th, 2005

    • Maybe you should read Proverbs 13:24.

      hemiman

      by hemiman on August 24th, 2006

    • Actually Matt 18:6 says,"But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were drowned in the depth of the sea."

      hemiman

      by hemiman on August 24th, 2006

    • hemiman: It depends on the translation you use. I believe the Saviour was talking about teaching, yes, but he also doesn't want his children to be beaten. They are to be corrected in love and compassion. I speak as the mother of 3.

      msiever

      by msiever on December 13th, 2006

    • Being beaten and being spanked are two completely different things.

      DrMommy

      by DrMommy on March 8th, 2009

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