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by Spixxy on February 6th, 2004

Spixxy

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I cheated on my boyfriend and I want to forget about the whole thing. I think it would do no good if I told my boyfriend but I don't want to be dishonest. Should I tell him?

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  • by MP1116 on February 7th, 2004

    MP1116

    There's an old saying that comes to mind with this question:

    "What they don't know can't hurt them."

    In this case, that proves right, but also wrong.

    First off, was there a reason for cheating on your boyfriend? Did you have a fight and almost end the relationship, or was there perhaps suspicion of him cheating on you? The reason for cheating should be addressed...if you cheated just to cheat, you're off to a bad start.

    One of two things can happen with this: Your boyfriend will either be hurt but will forgive you, or he will break up with you. If you feel the need to tell him then you must explain why you decided to cheat, and what made you go through with it in the first place. You should also explain what was going on in your relationship at the time, if there were any outstanding circumstances (i.e. big fight) that would've led to both of you going to someone else. If you can sit him down and explain to him why you cheated in a calm and controlled manner, and he sees that you really care about him and that by cheating on him, you are very hurt by it, then maybe he'll forgive you, and even try his best to improve the relationship with you.

    Then of course, he may break up with you on the spot. Cheating is the ultimate betrayel in a relationship, and that could harm the relationship rather than doing any good. If you think that your boyfriend will be understanding, then by all means tell him. But you must be prepared for either a fight or a break up.

    Personally, if a girl cheated on me, I'd break up with her on the spot, or take a few days to think about it. But in the end, I would definitely end the relationship. When the trust in a relationship is damaged by cheating, sometimes it just can't be repaired. But EVERY guy is different...even though I would break up with a girl immediately for having cheated on me, there are some guys who would take a while to think about it, or maybe there are others who would talk it out, or some may go out and cheat on you with someone as an act of revenge. Be prepared for any of that when you tell him.

    If you DON'T tell him, however, things can get even worse. These things do have ways of getting around, and even if you think nobody knows, trust me, it WILL get to your boyfriend somehow. If he finds out that you cheated from someone else, it would be worse than having found out from you. A friend that you have a fight with could get vengeful and tell him, the guy you cheated with could tell people that end up getting around to your bf, etc. If you are really concerned, it would be better off for you to tell him yourself.

    If you are feeling guilty, then its good...you really should. Cheating, as I mentioned earlier, is probably the ultimate destruction of trust in a relationship, but by feeling guilty and having a desire to tell your bf that you cheated, its a good start and shows that you really do care, but just be prepared for an end to your relationship. I think that if you do actually go through with this, it would make you a better person for being so honest and open. Good luck.

    Comments

    • you give really helpful answers. :)

      shelobmd

      by shelobmd on March 6th, 2004

    • hmmm...

      Erin Maree

      by Erin Maree on October 20th, 2004

    • good answer

      katscratcedme

      by katscratcedme on January 11th, 2005

    • Uh-oh.

      mungobaby

      by mungobaby on January 16th, 2005

    • thank u so much for this comment, it has made me feel better in my decision to admit to cheating.

      winnie

      by winnie on November 4th, 2005

    • Good answer. ^_^

      A

      by A on November 3rd, 2008

    • there is no reason for someone to cheat!!!!!!!!!
      the person they cheated on is deeply hurt it will take a long time to forgive at the end of the day that person decieded cheat its very important to forgive the cheater but not agree what he done and move on and maybe learn to trust agan try putting the shoe on the other foot and cheat be hurt and forgive and move on its hard isnt it

      missleoladyxxxx

      by missleoladyxxxx on February 9th, 2009

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