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by eva2004 on November 18th, 2004

eva2004

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My best friend has stopped calling, and when I try to contact him he says he'll call back but never does. What does this mean?

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  • by MP1116 on April 25th, 2005

    MP1116

    Yeah, I've been here.

    Allow me to share more personal experience: One of my good friends of about 10 years, one of my first friends when I moved to a new area, became very hard to keep in contact with. About 4 years after we became friends, he moved away to another town...literally 20 minutes from each other. But for whatever reason, he became extremely difficult to keep in contact with. So over the next few years, we were on/off again as friends.

    In my first year of college, I got his AOL screen name from a mutual friend. After not having talked to him for about 2 years, it was good to catch up, and we started hanging out alot more. He met a wonderful girl and they've been together ever since. Now, fast forward to about 3 years ago. He and his girlfriend are getting married, and I have been chosen to be one of his groomsmen. We kept in good contact for about a year, and from then on it just grew stale. For whatever reason, he just stopped returning my calls, never contacted me (I was ALWAYS the one who had to initiate contact), responded infrequently on instant messenger, and so on. Overtime we just grew apart. It has been about a year since I have spoken to him now. I tried once or twice to get in contact with him, but to no avail. I decided that, after all my attempts I have still not made contact, I am just not going to try anymore.

    Its unfortunate...he was a good friend. Perhaps I did/said somethign to offend him? I don't know how, we have always joked about the same stuff, and always had gut busting laughs. I was very good friends with both him and his fiance', and the three of us got along splendidly. We constantly went out in groups of friends, but after awhile it just all died down. He was always hard to get in contact with, and our mutual friends have all said the same thing: he doesn't keep in contact, and rarely returns calls.

    When he moved away he got a new group of friends...this was back in High School, so it was a long time ago. He seems to have established much stronger relationships with those friends, rather than his old friends from his old neighborhood.


    This is always a possibility. People get new friends, and they ignore their old ones. Sometimes you say something, or maybe something about you just irritates him, and he never told you. Maybe you both changed so much that you aren't compatible as friends anymore. Its also possible that you've both matured and don't find the kind of friendship you had to be 'mature' enough...he may feel that your friendship is 'beneath' him, to a certain extent.

    There are always many possibilities in situations like this. I would suggest confronting him for one final time. If he is/was a good friend, its worth it to get an explanation.

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