Should I have divorce if I experience severe chronic pain and high depression for 8 years resulted from my wife's OCD (Obsessive Compulsive disorder) including hoarding & obsessive control (by my side 24 hrs)?

Comments

• I admire your compassion towards this couple. As far as advice goes for Water Drop. Get counseling for you and your spouse. Nothing is unrepairable, no matter what others tell you. I have been suffering from severe chronic pain for 25+ years and my wife of 6 years feels she is at the end of her rope and doesn't think she can handle living with someone who suffers as much as I do. She is having a hard time dealing with it because she doesn't know how to help and she is tired of my constant "complaining". I don't feel I am complaining when I tell her, "Sweety I am sorry but I will not be able to help you with dinner tonight because I have over done it today." She says that I am being negative and that she cannot take the negativity anymore. I feel as though I am letting her know that I feel bad for not being able to help her when I really really want to. I am on disability and she works, so when she has to come home after working all day and cook dinner, it makes me feel as an inadequate husband. We are currently seeking counseling from our church and are extremely optimistic that the results will be positive enough to keep us together as we do love each other very very much. I do understand her comments pertaining to negativity though because sometimes after months and months of trying my best to be positive I say things like, "I can't handle this anymore, it is too hard, I want to die, I wish I could kill myself and be done with all this pain and misery." Living with chronic pain doesn't only hurt beyond compare, but it drains your body of every drop of energy you have and takes it's toll on your emotions. I am constantly depressed. Sometimes these rants of self pity run from a few hours to a week or 2; although more than a few days is rare. I always realize that I am wining and come to her to apologize; telling her I am sorry for losing it and having my own pity party. And I do get pretty negative at times. I love my wife as much as anyone could and would do anything for her. I know it must be hard living with a man that cannot be the provider he longs to be. By the way; the absolute hardest part of living with chronic pain and total misery is not the physicality of it all but the fact that I have to live knowing that I am not being the "man who is supposed to be the supporting factor of the family structure". I want more than anything to give my wife the life I promised her during our wedding vows. I don't know if this helps anyone at all, but my advice to couples living with chronic pain and everything that goes with it (and there is a lot it does to break down the marriage structure God put together for us)is communication, communication, communication, and support of some sort such as counseling or spending time with others that have gone through it or are currently going through it. And be extremely careful with pain medications and the like, because although they may seem to work at first, they lose their effectiveness quickly and you just need more until another problem (drug addiction) has been added to the mix. If anyone needs someone to talk to, or just needs to vent, I can always be reached at survivingchronicpain@yahoo.com. Love and best wishes for all.

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  by SurvivingCP on February 28th, 2011