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by i-TrY-nOt-To-Be on December 14th, 2007

i-TrY-nOt-To-Be

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I know ANY 1 can be 'bad', but I primarily dis-like/dis-trust pagans, satanists, wiccans, athetists, and agnotics. I have really tried to break that hatred by sitting near my wiccan class-mate, but it's not working. What can I do to stop prejudging them?

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  • by Stableboy on December 14th, 2007

    Stableboy

    You deserve to be congratulated for having some self-awareness and trying to overcome prejudice -- that's MUCH better than being a "blind bigot".

    I'm a bigot too. You'll find if you're honest, you'll have lots of company on this one. Actually, we're ALL bigots, just some are less observant or honest than you.

    Now the question is "what to do about it", yes? We can see on the one hand that prejudice is misguided and harmful, and on the other hand we sort of can't help ourselves -- it's as if the prejudice is wired in to our brains somehow.

    What's going on is called "conditioning"... our minds get trained by exposure to the views of others in subtle ways as we go through childhood (and more of that happens to adults too). We see (for example) mother make some snide comment about blacks after she has a rude black woman say something nasty in the market. Then later we see a black person on TV being arrested for a crime. The mind puts together a simplistic picture of the concept "black people are bad", and stores that with some very heavy mental GLUE.

    That's conditioning. Once it's firmly in place, it really doesn't matter that you decide to believe "all are created equal", believe all you want -- it doesn't change the conditioning stored "in your bones" that black people are bad.

    There is some good news though: deciding to hold the VALUE "all are created equal" gives you a goal for your own behavior -- a reason to restrain the automated reactions caused by your conditioning. Also, it gives you a reason to observe and try to "untangle" the conditioning over time.

    The best way to deal with your conditioning is to forgive yourself for having it -- it's NOT your fault, but not excuse yourself for ACTING on it. It IS your responsibility to restrain those impulses, it's NOT your responsibility that you have them. Over time, if you establish a solid relationship with your own values and get used to "managing" your conditioning, it starts to fade and can even disappear. But don't beat yourself up for having it, and don't let it run your life.

    Comments

    • Very true. I absolutely agree.

      Fly Forever

      by Fly Forever on December 14th, 2007

    • What an outstanding answer!

      Nitroduck

      by Nitroduck on December 14th, 2007

    • Thanks!

      Stableboy

      by Stableboy on December 14th, 2007

    • i was exactly the same as you because i was educated that all other religions are evil and chrisitanity was the true religion. i eventually broke that belief and now im a wiccan. just, continue with what you're doing and hope will come knocking

      twilighti

      by twilighti on August 17th, 2010

    • TTTTThank YOUUUUUU, EQUALITY & RESPECT is always, has always & will always be your BEST BET.........

      Jezebelle

      by Jezebelle on September 14th, 2011

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You're reading I know ANY 1 can be 'bad', but I primarily dis-like/dis-trust pagans, satanists, wiccans, athetists, and agnotics. I have really tried to break that hatred by sitting near my wiccan class-mate, but it's not working. What can I do to stop prejudging them?

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