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by fedor007 on November 30th, 2006

fedor007

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My gf of 2 years, cheated on me with her ex-bf.I heard about it and confronted her but it took 5mths for her to tell the truth.she say it was the biggest mistake of her life and wants another chance. I love her so much but cant believe she did it. Help..

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  • by gone on November 30th, 2006

    gone

    Dude, I had a friend whose situation mirrored yours to the T. The girl behaved in the exact same manner: cheated, wouldnt come clean and then she put on a big I'm sorry show which he bought into for another year before the relationship ended bitterly. To this day he wishes he had never wasted the time and energy with that girl.

    Truth be told, some girls are weak and will slip, but what is worse is when they expect the guy to exude similiar weakness and simply accept whatever shes done. youre doing it right now by trying to find ways to reconcile the incident when you should be using your head to think rationally about what is the smart thing to do. you said you already had to try and look past her antics prior to your relationship, but obviously it has shown through in this relationship. in your subsequent answer where you said she was all like "im so sorry, now i realize how much i love, im praying to god about this"... yeah all that is bs. i mean maybe she means well, but honestly after cheating on you she NOW realizes how much she needs you? cmon man you know thats just ridiculous, just like her talking about praying to God, wtf does God have to do with her having sex with some guy? these are all things being said to just try and put a bandaid on the situation, do you really think this to be a lifechanging experience for her? cheating? I say this only because those things you said she said are actually the most cliche, hackneyed and overdone "im sorry" things girls say when they cheat.

    in all honesty you just sound very clingy to this girl more out of the safety of routine than true love. You said you wouldn't tolerate cheating, well then show some self-respect and man-up dude.

    Im not trying to be a dick its just that I watched my friend go through the exact same scenario and when it was all said and done and he reflected on it, he was like "man i was a little bitch with no respect for myself to willingly let my stupid infuation with this no good girl allow her to just continue and play me as a fool. When he first came to me with this issue i just gently suggested he should just try and move on from it, but he had already made his mind much in the way it sounds like you have. right now it sounds like youre primed to just give in and accept things as they are and continue on with the status quo. im telling you man i am seriously trying to save you a lot of time and emotinoal energy, so please consider being strong and doing what is really best for you.
    -----------
    Fedor007: Of course it is ultimately up to you and if you were to come in 10 years happily married to this girl, I would most definitely be be glad that things worked out for you.

    Think realistically though man. 10 years and marriage? man that is one very extreme hypothetical situation you got running through your head right now. Youre thinking about the outcome in 10 years? Dude its only year two and shes cheated on you and given you trust issues, what kind of indication does that give for another 8 years? man marriage would be the last thing on my mind if a girl cheated on me. even if you were to try and start anew with a clean slate, you know that this whole espisode would just be on your mind all the time now. and you know that in the real world most people dont really change. you could give her a another chance and try to tell yourself that somehow its a good idea, but i see you finding yourself back in same situation with her long before you ever reach marriage or the 10 year mark.

    And dude, believe me I want to see things work out for you, i know that shit is painful. But understand that if you are just going to ignore reason even after youve been given a lesson in love, and this thing happens to you again, then maybe you deserve it.

    If a man makes himself a worm he must not be surprised when he is trodden on--Kant

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    • so if i come back in 10 years and say we're happily married and stronger than ever and obviously shes proved i can trust her again, youll still think this? serious question

      fedor007

      by fedor007 on November 30th, 2006

    • Thanks again for ur reply mate. People do change. Shes already changes massively since ive met her. She used to get drunk and stuff but now shes really sensible and respectable for a start.

      I have a good friend in a very similar scenario 4 years ago, they worked it out and now they're a model couple where cheating wouldnt even be an issue. Surely where theres a will theres a way, aslong as its on both sides.

      I acknowledge im taking a risk but ultimately if she lets me down again ill be able to walk away easily so i reckon its a shot to nothing.

      Also as regards changing, my bro cheated on his gf but has not completely wised up too and would never go back there. Sometimes all this can make a person value what they put to risk. Ive seen this in pratice in the above 2 examples plus many more. So im disappointed to hear you guys think im being silly? Maybe im taking a risk but so did my friend and hes happier than ever.

      fedor007

      by fedor007 on November 30th, 2006

    • lastly, I would like to add we're both only turned 21. her past is when she was was 18-19. She cheated on me when she was 20. I feel she's learned alot from her past and would never let herself down like that again. As for the cheating i think this was a massive mistake on her part. That said, she doesnt want to live that kind of life. She's made it clear she wants a respectable adult relationship. Just because she made these mistakes at an early age doesn necessarily imply she will behave like this from now and onwards? Surely that is equally niavve....

      fedor007

      by fedor007 on November 30th, 2006

    • hahah well then i see there is no reasoning with you. wtf, go for it dude, cant hurt and lifes short. i guess ive just always had a colder approach to these things, but it looks if you were to walk away, your mind would get full of could-have-beens and should-have-beens. so no sense torturing yourself if you know what you want to do. I wish you the best with her man.

      gone

      by gone on November 30th, 2006

    • Thank you evolusean. ALl that said, shes gotta earn every last bit of trust and love back. She's gona have to show how serious she is and im not gona make is easy for her. Ill test her will and push her to see how far she can stand by her words :) only then will i be happy

      fedor007

      by fedor007 on November 30th, 2006

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You're reading My gf of 2 years, cheated on me with her ex-bf.I heard about it and confronted her but it took 5mths for her to tell the truth.she say it was the biggest mistake of her life and wants another chance. I love her so much but cant believe she did it. Help..

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