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by anonymous on November 30th, 2006

anonymous

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Why is kindness so hard to deal with?

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  • by Bonedry on November 30th, 2006

    Bonedry

    It's more a subjective response we have to kindness I would tend to believe, meaning that we deal with kindness as we do in response to most things that lay with-in those of our ego driven self-acceptances. I say most things, because it isn't one lumped into that kindness category of auto responses where one says How are you today, you say fine, and you? As well as Oh, nice to meet you, so and so has mentioned so much about you! Both of course are connotations to where our kindness is expected, as well as not to stray with-in societal circles.

    No, our acceptance to kindness is more of a response unto self worthiness, and how we arrived to the place we reside with-in it. I myself was physically abused as a young child with belts, kicks, slaps across the head, withheld meals, burned by lighters, etc. Later, as I grew older, the need for control evolved into my being subjected to sometimes hours of a non-stop barrage of words I would have gladly traded the same hours for with the belt. A controlled scenario where one wasn’t allowed to speak back, for fear of reprisals, and came in dictates of words and sentences that brought one to wither into a shell, and to sob profusely for the duration Words like worthless, moron, idiot, inconsiderate, liar, stupid ass were descriptive unto the future predictions of never gonna be anything but a bum, or on the street begging cause you surly cant do a damn thing right.

    So, anyhoo, as an adult, it took me about 15 years to finally be able to reckon with the fact that I was a good man, and that I was worth as much as others, and life was truly a wonderful experience.

    Getting there was rough at times, as I mostly used humor to get by, and if someone was being kind to me, my response usually reflected something negative back, though subtle. Hey nice tie, yeah, but it's got a stain on it. Wow, great haircut, yeah, but they cut it too short around my dumbo ears. My responses came in negatives, as one's self worth measure, and being gracious while coming up out of my ordeals have always been the hardest to place comfort with-in, due to the places I had been conditioned to be, by another's inability to be kind in any way.

    Maybe we all are similar, in that our responses to others kindness are just as subjective, like the cynical thinking that kind people want something, or spoiled people accept kindness as something expected, or the lonely sometimes confusing kindness for friendship or even love.
    Whatever the response is, we all need have it often, administer it far more than we recieve it, and teach it from the time a child is born. I think especially in today’s society we keed to be kin more than ever before, as we become more compartmentalized, and seem to be more and more indifferent to those around us. Great question, and Peace to you all!

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    • it really show that you have thought long and deeply on the matter...I truly love this answer...more power to ya

      BobSaccamano-is-back

      by BobSaccamano-is-back on December 23rd, 2006

    • I do thank you bob, and one answer a truth doesn't make, as we all i am sure do have our own take upon lifes emotions and philosiphies, but it is also a good thing to find that one isn't alone with-in them, thus you and your kind mention of mine truly does give one pleasure and acceptances. thanks and peace!

      Bonedry

      by Bonedry on January 3rd, 2007

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