I ended a 5 year relationship because of abuse. Within 2 weeks my ex met a woman on the Internet and 6 weeks later he is "in love" with this new life partner. More abuse to me. How can he just find "true love" so fast? How come he cannot be alone?

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• thanks for this insight. i have now severed all ties. i don't need to hear about his new love or whatever. my counselor has pointed out that he is narcissitic and has a terrible void and hate for himself. that is why he can move onto another person so quickly with no sadness or regret. she said he suffers from a dangerous personality disorder. he has been married 3 times...i know, THAT should have been a red flag to me. i never married him, just co-habitated and owned property with him. so, from woman to woman is how he works. i guess i beat him at his own game by leaving first. A narcissist will devalue a person once they no longer fulfill their needs. once i questioned the relationship and lifestyle, he turned on me horribly. so, he would have left me sooner or later.

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  by Anonymous on November 26th, 2006

• We ALL ignore red flags, you're not the only one! Reading this reminds me of an ex from a few years ago. After that relationship ended, I really went into a depression, since I felt like why did I waste my time? I still feel that way but with time I just don't think about it anymore. It took awhile so don't be too hard on yourself, don't beat yourself up and tell yourself you should be over it already. You will get there. It's good that you are seeing a counselor. I wish you all the best.:)

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  by muguet on November 27th, 2006

• Thanks. I realize my grieving is now going beyond "him". It is my lost hopes and dreams of what I thought the relationship was going to be. We both loved the out of doors, skiing, hiking, camping, etc., the mountains...but when the emotional connection is messed up, activities cannot cover up the growing hurt. We also became isolated, he would just play a computer game until the early hours of the evening, no communication with me...and, I admit, I was in a depression pretty bad by then because I had no job, no friends and the motivation to do anything started to falter and he started the abusive behavior, which tore me down more. Toxic all around. I am taking responsibility now that perhaps I did not try hard enough to "embrace the world out there", but, at the same time, I received no support from my ex, only criticism. The reason I want to take some responsibility is because I do not want to see myself as a complete victim. Still no excuse for hair pulling & verbal abuse.

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  by Anonymous on November 28th, 2006

• Also: you mentioned vulnerable people...his new "love" he found on the Internet, a lawyer in Denver, 53, lives with her mother.

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  by Anonymous on November 28th, 2006

• Oh my - you just quoted exactly what a family member told me the other day when I was talking to her about my loss.... she exactly that - that I was grieving what could have been - what I dreamed it would be - but never was. Silly us. Ha! xxx

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  by Confusion78 on April 30th, 2009

• SOrry - me again - and i just read your comment about the lawyer..... living with her mother..... he definitely preys on the weak. NOT that there is anything wrong with living with your mother - we dont know where circumstances.... but he definitely has gone for someone without independence. Funny that.

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  by Confusion78 on April 30th, 2009