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by Chuckro2 on November 5th, 2006

Chuckro2

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Help answer this question below.

My girlfriend's closest friend is my ex. This summer she tried to break us apart, but after many apologies my girlfriend forgave her. I still get upset, however, when they hang out. What should I do?

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  • by MP1116 on November 19th, 2006

    MP1116

    When it comes to something like this, you are in a no-win situation. Your girlfriend obviously cares enough about you to not allow her friend to break you guys apart. On the other hand, your ex-girlfriend is her best friend, which can lead to problems. Obviously there is resentment there, and because i don't know the circumstances of your break-up with the ex, I can't really say whether or not she would be justified in trying to break you up...I seriously doubt she has a good reason, but in the mind of your ex, you are probably evil...she definitely doesn't want to see you with her best friend.

    I was in a similar situation with my Fiancé...her best friend was away at college when we first started dating, and when she came back permanently she expected the two of them to be the same old single girls again...not going to happen. Because of this, she deeply resented me and went out of her way to disrupt our plans, make my Fiancé feel guilty when we went out, and several times she tried to break us up. After a while I confronted my Fiancé about my feelings, and later we both confronted her friend...overtime she and I grew to become good friends and the whole resentment went away.

    The only dissimilar aspect of this situation is that my Fiancé's best friend is not an ex...because of that situation it will be very difficult to let that go. I can understand your resentment towards her for trying to break you up, and obviously she is angry that you are still around, especially since you are with your best friend. Your girlfriend is obviously the better person for not allowing that to bother her, and maybe her friend should open her eyes to that.

    The bottomline is, there's nothing that you can personally do. You can talk to your girlfriend about it, but don't back her into a corner...remember, you may be her boyfriend but this girl is her best friend...unless the two of you are very serious (as in planning marriage), the ties of friendship will usually prevail over a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, unless your girlfriend gets so angry over this girl's behavior that she decides to cast her out of her life. Just remember to avoid back your girlfriend into a corner about this...she's probably stressed enough that you two hate each other. It will be hard to let the past go, especially with such a thing looming over as this girl trying to drive you apart (I still have a buried dislike of my Fiancé's best friend, despite our friendship).

    If this situation becomes too tough, you may have to make a choice, and so will your girlfriend. I hope that it works out the better for you.

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    • that all makes sense. thanks for the help.

      Chuckro2

      by Chuckro2 on November 20th, 2006

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