What is your life story?

My Dad was a hellfire-and-brimstone Baptist preacher who scared away most of his congregation with an extreme form of Christianity of his own invention. My Mother dumped him in 1963 and raised all 6 of us cubs herself on a secretary's income. We had a lot of fun, despite being too poor to pay attention.

I was the smartest kid in class, red-headed, freckle-faced, popular and cute as a button, and was expected to turn out well. Instead, I hit some traumas in adolescence and turned into a nightmare for my mother: I took lots of drugs, got arrested and jailed several times, even burglarized the church where our family had attended many years -- ripping out the sound equipment and leaving a smart-aleck note behind.

Some good things happened as a teen: I learned to play the piano, and I became very interested in what I called the "Big Questions" -- who am I? What is life for? Is there a God and what does He want? etc. These questions turned out to be worth asking for many years to come.

But being a young teen punk wiped out my college scholarship offers, and instead of going to Cal Tech or MIT, I became an LSD-dropping keyboard player in various small-time California bands, going up and down the coast trying desperately to make enough money to stay alive.

Eventually I realized I just wasn't good enough or committed enough to make the music thing go, so I quit the music and the drugs and got a real job. But the Big Questions kept burning, and I kept reading all sorts of things in the philosophy, psychology, religion, metaphysics, science, and oddball-thinking sections of the library. I also spent time with various group programs like est, Lifespring, Contegrity, volunteer work, and the like.

I got married twice, my 2nd wife came with 2 young daughters from a previous marriage, an Insta-family. Soon I had a nice bout with alcoholism (to round out my self-abuse education) which was terminated by my Mother's sudden and unexpected death from cancer. That was the final straw on screwing around with life, I think -- it was very painful. At that point I became determined about the Big Questions -- the curiosity became an intense personal crusade to understand.

That crusade led eventually to Zen practice, which turned out to be exactly the thing I needed to have all of those fragmentary life lessons, bits and pieces read and heard, personal insights, and assorted trivia start falling into place like a self-assembling puzzle. The many hours of "just sitting", letting the mind clear itself, provided (and continue to provide) an environment where what I already knew -- but couldn't integrate -- could arrange themselves into coherent understanding about myself and my life, and provide some clarity about the universal questions I loved so much.

Oh yeah, somewhere along the line I learned how to write software so I could pay the bills.

Then I stumbled onto Answerbag in September of 2006. It's been a wild ride here.

Comments

Haha, I actually read it all, you interesting person you! Ooh, I met a real-life Buddhist (you're just a fake digital person). He's really cool!
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by Fisherofman on November 16th, 2006
A real-life Buddhist? Did he glow in the dark? I've always wanted to see one of those -- but my Mom wouldn't take me to the freak show.
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by Stableboy on November 16th, 2006
Yeah, your awesome.
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by travis bickle on November 16th, 2006
I don't know! But he DID have sort of a...OK, imagination ran out, good night.
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by Fisherofman on November 16th, 2006
So even heroes have flaws! Nice story, thanks for taking the time to answer it. No wonder you're such a great answerer; you have gone through such a journey. Thanks for sharing those personal details.
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by EL1 2 on November 17th, 2006
That would actually make a good book.
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by Anonymous on November 17th, 2006
Thanks -- but where would I find time to write a book? There's 168 unanswered questions still in "What's that pill"...
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by Stableboy on November 17th, 2006
Wow..48 years old...how's it feel to be an old guy?
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by ptrask on November 17th, 2006
I believe you are one year younger, grasshopper. You'll know the answer soon.
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by Stableboy on November 17th, 2006
As long as I don't have to snatch your balls...er...I mean snatch a ball from your hand!
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by ptrask on November 17th, 2006
What LP were you in?
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by ptrask on November 29th, 2006
YOU ARE P.K.! Another similarity between us. I am a methodist minister's kid.
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by zazzy_one on December 2nd, 2006
Leave it to you to answer this question which for many would entail a complex and long story, succinctly. I can't do it, or maybe I just think it will be too painful to recount. Props to you (and a rating). "To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent." And diligent you are.
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by justinoldguy on December 2nd, 2006
That's a great quote. Wish I'd gone to college so I recognized it!
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by Stableboy on December 2nd, 2006
I like that. I was prepared to write a book when I seen the question. u summed your life up in a few paragraphs and it was super...kudos guy!
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by Colton44 on December 5th, 2006
Thanks. Data compression is my hobby.
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by Stableboy on December 5th, 2006
Its wonderful that you found Zen practice...I have also been dabbling in it - need to find inner peace....good luck!
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by Sarita1 Goes Bollywood on December 5th, 2006
Do you have a teacher? I really recommend having a teacher; it's tough territory to navigate solo.
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by Stableboy on December 9th, 2006
My husband is really into zen and ayurveda and the sutras and chinese mediation and I kind of dabble as I watch him and I pick up a few of his books and look through them. I Really like to listen to Master Sheng Yen. He is credited, locally as well as internationally, for sparking a revival of Chinese Buddhism.

His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama once described Master Sheng Yen as "extremely modest, a true spiritual practitioner of deep and broad learning." Master Sheng Yen was also appointed as one of the chairs of the World Council of Religious Leaders.

I watch his program "Dharma Drum" where he is asked questions and he gives some simple yet deep answers.
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by Sarita1 Goes Bollywood on December 11th, 2006
Sounds like a sharp sharp guy. I don't know him. And I've sure never heard of a television program hosted by a Buddhist teacher! Talk about a tough sell to the advertisers! :-)
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by Stableboy on December 11th, 2006
i'm not the biggest fan of reading on others, but this was particularly interesting for many reasons. thx for sharing :)
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by Tinkabelle on December 27th, 2006
Very interesting story, I can relate more than you could imagine.
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by Brickson on January 4th, 2007
All of these things that you have been through make you the person you are today...and a very popular one at that!
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by kitty loves you on January 5th, 2007
Thanks dear. Tell that to the folks who want to ring my neck and I'll get you an extra 20 points! :-)
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by Stableboy on January 5th, 2007
Job done!
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by kitty loves you on January 5th, 2007
Really? And how would you know who wants to wring my neck?
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by Stableboy on January 5th, 2007
LOL! Right next to "For a good time, call Jenny @867-5309"
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by Stableboy on January 5th, 2007
Oh, right. ~~~~ anyway, as long as we're on the Katkit topic, how about pressuring her to return to the self-portrait avatar? My gun is empty, it needs a woman's touch.
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by Stableboy on January 5th, 2007
"To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent" --- This is an old Zen Buddhist quote.
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by Anonymous on February 3rd, 2007
Wow. I just read this, I can't believe I hadn't already! I never had a clue about loads of that stuff, very interesting!
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by Carmella on February 8th, 2007
Take a look at the bottom of this category. I broke one of my own rules by posting an answer to this question.
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by Anonymous on February 9th, 2007
Wow, indeed. You are eternally interesting and intriguing. Like a U.F.O, only less .. glowy :)
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by PrettyPirate on May 22nd, 2007
Thanks... we've come for your offspring, btw. Get busy.
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by Stableboy on May 22nd, 2007
Ahh, interesting story, that, and funny you should mention it. Will pop you an email.
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by PrettyPirate on May 22nd, 2007
That would make a good bedtime story if I get kids.
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by LinkinParkfan on May 23rd, 2007
Beautiful family, and I hope your life hasnt really gone down the toilet again =[.
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by FallenMan on October 30th, 2007
Wonderful. But I was just wondering - have you become an atheist?
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by ACCOUNT CLOSED on December 21st, 2007
No... what gave you that idea?
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by Stableboy on December 21st, 2007
I sense a misplaced comment, terisa! :)
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by Stableboy on January 20th, 2008
Gosh what a wonderful story, Im glad someone has finally found peace. Heartening. God Bless.
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by Wisdoms Words on September 5th, 2008
nice life story ^.^
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by sheridan on October 15th, 2008
I'm with you mate. some times the one starts to think about these big questions a lot.
since you read a lot and you seem open-minded...I want you to think of me as a blink in you're life.with out judging each other i mean.
first you ask what is the purpose of our life?
i tell you it's to worship Allah the all mighty..
second thing you ask..is there a god?
i say there's a god because if you look at how much the world organized in little details..(science,human body, nature..) there are a lot of variables in the universe yet it keeps it chronological and systematic order...all of that by the power of The all mighty (Allah)..
and there's only one god because if there's more than one god you would notice a two types of creation in every thing and they would have wanted different things and eventually ruined the universe.bottom line there's only one god which is i believe Allah.
i open a little door for you to seek the truth..there are other big questions (Islam ) answers for you such as
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by rocketeer on January 31st, 2009
what happens after we pass away?
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by rocketeer on January 31st, 2009
Stableboy is a Buddhist and doesn't have much time for proselytizing, I suggest you don't bother. It's disrespectful, amongst other things.
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by Carmella on January 31st, 2009
what makes you think that being a Buddhist helped him with his big questions..may be there's still questions that he doesn't know>>>
i say he can know how Islam answers these questions...
i found peace within my self in Islam my be he would...
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by rocketeer on February 1st, 2009
I'm Stableboy's fiancee. He's a Buddhist, as he states very clearly in his answer. He's got absolutely no interest in converting to Islam and why you think he would is odd.
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by Carmella on February 1st, 2009
lol...
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by FallenMan on February 2nd, 2009
Nice story.
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by Flipp3r on April 4th, 2009
Thankyou for your story Stableboy :)
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by Kuche Nawa on May 9th, 2009
WTF? Fiancee? When did that happen?
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by ptrask on May 10th, 2009
I thought you knew! We've been together 18 months, engaged for over a year :)
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by Carmella on May 10th, 2009
Congratulations Carmella.
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by Anonymous on May 10th, 2009
Thanks! Who were you before you became Anon?
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by Carmella on May 10th, 2009
You once knew me as petrusromanus. Tell SB to drop me an e-mail:)
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by Anonymous on May 10th, 2009
Ah, petrus! Consider it done.
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by Carmella on May 10th, 2009
Hi petrus!

It's a dang thing about life stories that they refuse to stay neatly encapsulated in an answer ... until you're dead, at least :)

Sorry, Peter. I was sure you knew too. It's hard to keep track. :)
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by HasntBeen on May 12th, 2009
I knew you guys were together (although I'm still not sure which one of you crossed the pond!) I just didn't know you were engaged. Congratulations!
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by ptrask on May 12th, 2009
Thanks! I'm thinking maybe we should convert to Islam so there are fewer "differences of opinion". One thing the Prophet definitely got straight: the man's in charge, yes? :)
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by HasntBeen on May 12th, 2009
Horrors...differences of opinions...gasp! You guys must not be compatible! :-)
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by ptrask on May 12th, 2009

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What is your life story?

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