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by Maya on October 13th, 2011

Maya

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why do men cheat ? do all men cheat ? is it inevitable ?

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  • by Athrael on October 13th, 2011

    Athrael

    Men are designed for multiple partners through life. further, humans are designed for group sex, not monogamy.

    The very shape of the penis and the amount of movement necessary to reach climax is to remove competitor's sperm before depositing his own.

    Recent reseach has found that men who first fall in love suffer from a drop in testosterone. Testosterone is responsible for things like anger, sex drive, etc. When a man's testosterone drops slightly he is less likely to roam.

    This condition lasts between 1 to 5 years depending on the health of the relationship.

    If a child is introduced to the family (either his own, or they adopt) his testosterone levels will either remain lower, or drop again as long as he forms an attachment to the child. Once the child is around 10 years of age (able to defend and fend for themselves) the man's testosterone levels rise again.

    All of this is indicative that we have adapted 'monogamy' for the purpose of survival, and short term monogamy is what works for humans.

    No not all men cheat, they may look, but they won't touch. No its not inevitable, a healthy relationship can be very fullfilling. Men who cheat usually do so because the relationship has become boring, or they are no longer 'in love' with their partner.

    Comments

    • Hmm.. You have made some very valid point but more of the male anatomy not of the human psychy... You see this predicament does not solely belong to the male or female gender and thus is the reason I have a bit of a problem with the conduct of which the question was structured..

      The lust for a person other than that of your formal partner (cheating) is a state of mind and self control, it virtually has nothing to do with testosterone or any chemicals within the body except emotions.. People cheat out of their own beliefs, lack of sexual satisfaction, hormones or emotional motivation.. Men and women both equally have the desire to cheat and both cheat for the same reasons, men more often because a lack of self control or heightened egos..
      Self control and mental stability is the key to "faithful" humans, there is no inevitable motive that prompts us to cheat even boredom of an everlasting relationship, when we become married or partake in relationships we understand the bond that is created and the vows we take therefore we are suggesting we can endure it.. The penis and vagina are not living organs therefore the brain controls them, it sends messages throughout the body of stimulation therefore your mind and the ability to resist is what controls cheating..

      InnerSanctioned

      by InnerSanctioned on October 14th, 2011

    • I agree with InnerSanctioned that the cheating part is more of a self-control and emotional stability thing, as I have met many a husband who cheat on their wives but when they speak of them, I can tell (and they admit) that they love their wives very much. Mostly from what they have told me, the reason they say they cheat is because 1. they love women too much (lack of self-control) 2. relationship got 'boring' or 'cold' or spouse doesn't satisfy/do certain sexual activities/fulfill a fetish (emotional/physical stability/needs not met) 3. they're just assholes (personality/emotional stability). From personal experience as a cheat-prone female, I can whole-heartedly say I have terrible self-control and have my own set of emotional issues that dip into my relationships. Indulgent + self-involved + attachment issues + poor self-image - (emotional support + psychological help) = very high chance of having unfaithful qualities. Narcissistic personalities also are high on the list, as you can imagine.

      f0sheezYgrL

      by f0sheezYgrL on November 19th, 2011

    • Wow it takes a very mature woman to admit that, yes you are correct.. what type of emotional issues burden you in your relationships?

      InnerSanctioned

      by InnerSanctioned on November 19th, 2011

    • Thank you. I've come to terms with it, now I just need to get help :P
      As for the emotional issues, I'm not sure where to start or maybe how to even put them into words. I know I am distrustful due to my history (and present) of poor taste in men, self-sabotaging (as I had a faithful and darling man who I constantly cheated on and ended up leaving for no good reason other than to chase more dick), I am probably a sex-addict, and the list goes on and on. I also suspect that a plethora of these issues stem from lots of years of child sexual abuse. Yeah, I'm a fucking basket case.

      f0sheezYgrL

      by f0sheezYgrL on November 19th, 2011

    • No you are not a basket case lucy, actually this is very common in child molestation cases, a heightened lust for sexual activity due to a trauma induced trance..tell you what message me and we can talk more about it

      InnerSanctioned

      by InnerSanctioned on November 19th, 2011

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