How do you make cocaine?

I doubt you'll find the answer on a mainstream Q & A site like answerbag. The people who know how to extract cocaine from coca leaves probably aren't hanging around here, just waiting to show the curious among us how to whip up an eight-ball. I've read a few descriptions of dope cooks and "altruistic" was never among the words used, lol.

You might start by taking a class in organic chemistry or at least reading a basic chemistry book, so that if you do find a halfway decent extraction technique, you won't be scratching your head, wondering how to measure pH, or where you can procure the reagents.

I'm not sure how you'd acquire the leaves, either. I mean, it's not like they're bagged up and sitting on a shelf in the garden department at Home Depot.

But let's say you managed to find some, somewhere. Maybe inside a fantasy. Five kilograms of leaves from coca plants - that's 11 pounds, US - makes less than an ounce of coke (23 grams or so). Since you've never done this before, your yields would probably be less. And it takes a few days for the whole process, start to finish. I read something about covering the leaves with kerosene and that made me nervous (KA BOOM!), so I stopped reading.

I found this from searching the web. Had to dig pretty deep, but the info is there. Reliability? You got me. I wouldn't know a funky recipe from a good one and don't plan to learn. It looks too complicated.

I wouldn't bet the farm on anything that begins with, "The Quick and Easy Way to Make Cocaine", though.

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Edit - 12/20/06: To whoever downrated: Do you think I'm naive enough to write a synthesis for cocaine on Answerbag? Just what I'm hoping for - to get placed on the DEA's watch list. In case you're unaware, it's a felony to make cocaine in the USA. It's also a crime to tell people how to do it.

Basically, the main reason I wrote this answer is because the other one was so unbelievably stupid, it was plain insulting to let it stand as the only answer.

But let's forget all that. Exactly how responsible would it be for me to write up an extraction technique and synthesis without knowing who's reading it? Chemicals are nothing to play around with, and I don't have the time to find an MSDS for everything. If you want to make cocaine, my best advice is to look around on the web. Try Erowid.com for a start. You should be aware of the following: all drug websites are full of people whose main goal in life is to see people who use and make illegal drugs get popped, big-time. Of course, you won't be able to tell who those people are.

You will read stuff that sounds good, but won't make crap, because the ratios of the precursors are off by a minute amount. People will brag about how easy it is to make this or that, but they will omit a step here or an ingredient there and you'll be wondering just what went wrong when you end up with nothing. Or some doofus will light a cigarette while you're messing around with acetone, MEK, or VM&P Naphtha and you won't have time to wonder about why you ignored safety warnings. You'll be too busy trying to save yourself from the fire and later from the cops.

This stuff is hard enough, I'm sure, to make in a clean, well-equiped lab with pristine precursors and established procedures. When you try it, not being knowledgable, as evidenced by your looking on a site like Answerbag for an answer, you won't get squat.

Thanks Stableboy! Come on over and let's do a few lines. I got a fresh batch coming out of the oven.

ptrask, one day we're going to have one hell of a party. You bring the camera and the food, I'll make sure we can stay awake for a few days.