by Icebox April on June 25th, 2007

Icebox April

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WOMEN: if you became pregnant, and decided that you did not want to have the baby, would you reconsider having an abortion if your partner didn't want you to? Would his wanting to keep it influence you, or would it purely be your decision?

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  • by theceebs on June 25th, 2007

    theceebs

    This one can really spark a lot of debate !

    Ultimately I think that it is YOUR body, and in the end YOU are the one responsible for the child, if you have it.

    HOWEVER, having said that, there can be so many factors involved. If I were married, it might make a difference. Marriage is a partnership, and I think in that situation it would really have to be discussed more and thought over more. If it were just with a boyfriend or something more casual, it's a different situation.

    One thought that occured to me is, does this man want to raise the child alone ? If he does, then it's up to you to consider if that's something you could do - have the baby, and essentially sever your rights as a parent. Just one more option.

    But going through a pregnancy is a tricky thing - one of the processes that occurs is a huge hormonal shift, which acts partly to create a bond between the mother and child. So even in women who fully intend to give a baby up for adoption with no doubts about it - they may still feel a great deal of emotion when the time comes, and may even change their minds. Any women whose ever had PMS knows what hormones can do - pregnancy is like PMS times 1000 - it makes you VERY emotional. Not the ideal time for decisions that can be life altering.

    From experience - my boyfriend (when I was 17) did not want me to go to college, because he thought I'd leave him for "someone better." So he poked holes in the condoms (unbeknownst to me), and all the while saying, "I hope you get pregnant, so you don't leave me." When I found out I was pregnant, and eventually what he'd done, I was furious. I knew with that added to many other factors, that he would not ever be cut out to be a father, and cut him out of my life. I originally told him I was going to have an abortion and never wanted to see him again - he asked if he had any say in the matter, and I said NO WAY. Eventually, I changed my mind, and had the baby, but I still felt I was in the right to exclude him from the process. But I felt his actions were partly to blame for that.

    But if it were to happen NOW...it would be a different story. So many factors, and such a hard decision...ugh !!

    Comments
    • What a rat-bastard! I hope it all turned out for the best.

      lizvelrene

      by lizvelrene on February 12th, 2010

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