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by nancy erb on October 14th, 2004

nancy erb

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What can I do to convince a 17 yr-old girl that her 36 yr-old boyfriend is not right for her?

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  • by Anonymous on October 26th, 2004

    Anonymous

    Explain to her that you want for her to be happy, to start with. Just so she knows that you aren't just trying to ruin it for her. Then explain that you are very concerned for her. Tell her that you think that she should be dating someone closer to her own age so that she will be able to enjoy growing up at a more normal rate. Tell her that if she continues to date him he might become interested in sex, marriage, and children with her. He might expect her to take on the role of a wife, and that she really shouldn't try to take on such responsibility until she is out of highschool, has a career and other means of taking care of herself. She doesn't want to be left with nothing if she doesn't take care of business now and then down the road he leaves her on her own with no career or assets of her own. And she will probably be able to enjoy a relationship for a longer period of time, with someone closer to her own age and wave length. One other concern is that he might be trying to take advantage of her being young and therefore some what gullable. Many men will try to convince a girl to do the things he wants by using ploys like, "if you love me you would," or "my ex would have done it," etc. because they know that if the girl wants to keep him around bad enough, she'll do it so that he won't go and find some older woman. It happened to me as a teenager. All that you can really do is explain why it's wrong and let her know how much you care. Then let her decide what she thinks is right. That would probably be the best way to go about it and keep your relationship with her from going sour. If she doesn't decide that you are right and leave him, then you should definitely involve her parents, no matter how mad at you she might get. The relationship between her and the 36 year old man is an unhealthy one that could become harmful to her self esteem and maturity process, so please don't give up because you don't want her to get mad at you. Good luck.

    Comments

    • yeah, more old men use the term "if you loved me you would" than teens... NOT!!! I have not heard of anyone using that since highschool. just because your relationship with an older man was unhealthy does not mean all are... I would say MOST teenaged relationships are unhealthy to include the one my wife was in for 6 years, the selfish pig was her age.

      TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT

      by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on September 13th, 2008

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